For as long as I remember, I had always felt associated with something or someone.

I had been Irish-dancing quite competitively so that linked me to a world of new people, Foroige activities or whether that just being having a close best-friend or a social circle.

If you heard my name, it was usually to do with ‘…. and Alisha’ or ‘she does ……’.

I was always joined at the hip with somebody, to those of you who knew me from school – would have seen that.

I think for a while, I just didn’t know what it had meant to spend time with just yourself.

As life goes on and the last few months have progressed, I feel as if I have really come into my own.

Now I hadn’t fallen out with anyone for me to feel this way, I think maybe I just realised as you get older you must be held accountable for your own doings and it really is so very important to be able to count on you and, you alone.

Being your own person is strange, do we need labels to define who we are to feel accepted by society?

That was a big problem I had, I cared far too much about what and how people thought instead of keeping within my own lane.

But how do we really find ourselves?

1. Take yourself out to dinner.

Take yourself into a new café or restaurant, enjoy the space and get your favourite meal.

There is this big fear with individuals (usually between the ages of 18-23) of eating on your own in an establishment. Absolutely nothing wrong with this.

Now I don’t mean a fast food chain, I mean a genuine food spot.

I try to take the time out once every few weeks to go for a coffee along even.

Observe what’s going on around you.

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Above is when I arrived home from Brussels, I took myself for dinner and I sat beside an older lady from Dublin.

We got chatting and she was such a lovely lady, her name was Laura.

I have sent Laura two postcards since then.

You never know what could happen from taking a leap on your own. Who you would meet, what you will experience. Stories that will last you a lifetime.

2. Travel alone

Now easier said than done, I have had opportunities within the last few weeks to travel within Europe alone.

But in saying that, what’s wrong with taking the bus to a random spot or get an earlier train by yourself?

See how you get on, depend on just yourself to get around.

At the end of the day, that secure feeling of having people to count on but once you do these things alone, we become more confident and gain a better sense of direction, ambition and mindset.

3. Make your own money. Spend your own money.

Tough one. Some people are lucky to be in a position where they don’t have to work. Or they just have enough going on without the stress of 20 hours at the weekend.

But a job makes you realise how worthwhile everything is.

Is that hoodie worth four hours at work?

Save up for things, use your hard-earned money to treat people.

Even within the topic of spending things, having a job and makes you realise that even your time is more valuable than anything else.

You can gift somebody a bracelet worth 50 euros but if they would rather spend the whole day with you then that is worth more than anything else.

I would never have the intention of this blogpost to come across that I do not need my friends because that is not the point, I genuinely do not know what I would do without them.

I sometimes hate backtracking, I do believe fully in moving forward, but sometimes you can’t help but reminisce and wonder where things with friends etc went wrong.

I miss old friends, those who have drifted from myself, but we must realise that they thought us many things and how can we create a better path for one self.

I love new friends that I have made too, they create so much happiness for me.

But in terms of moving forward with new friendships and relationships, “you are no good to somebody until you are good to yourself.”

I love the lady I am becoming. It is taking its time, but we are getting there.

Love,

Lisha xx